Aries – The stars have predicted good fortune for you. Just because they predicted it doesn’t mean it will come true so be prepared to be disappointed.
Taurus – Romance is present in the week that follows. Your ideal prince/princess will swoon over…your best friend.
Gemini – The chilly winds Dubai is having make you wish for the summer heat. Unfortunately your family thinks you’re delirious for wishing for heat in Dubai.
Cancer – An alignment of Mars and Venus may bring forth great misery. You may receive a Nokia as a birthday gift from your parents.
Leo – The coming week brings strange tidings. You will be prompted to do things that you have never done before. For instance you may be overcome with the sudden urge to sing opera.
Virgo – A spate of bad luck will make you feel extremely wary of the future. Instantly you will make up your mind to subscribe to The Republic just for the horoscopes.
Libra – Predictions about 2012 and whether or not the world will end make you question your actions you’ve taken in your life. Like whether or not eating a Mega Big Mac was in fact a good idea.
Scorpio – Due to unfortunate events that occurred over the weekend be prepared to spend the week in bed miserable with your X Box, Laptop and phone. Yeah right!
Sagittarius – You will finally receive the highest mark in class today. Pity it’s only for attendance.
Capricorn – Rumors of another Harry Potter book send you squealing in delight. For the next 48 hours you spend your time surfing the internet to see whether or not this speculation is true.
Aquarius – An overload of fan mail at the North Pole in addition to reindeer strikes will see your Christmas present finally arrive this week. Unfortunately you’ve been a bad boy/girl in the past year and all you receive is a lump of coal.
Pisces – In a fit of insanity you decide that your walls will look better red instead of green. Unfortunately you run out of paint and your bedroom ends up looking like a giant candy cane.